Pardon me while I burn

To the author of comment number 4:

NO!  We cannot still be friends, you bigoted bedbug of a soul!  (though, to be fair, I've never met this woman and just saw her comment on a friend's page)

I will not be petty and point out all the egregious spelling and grammatical errors peppering the offending comment (though I have a hard time getting past the Freudian slip of her capitalization of “Man and woman” – she thinks herself lesser, then?).  I can move past the nitpicking to the barely decipherable meaning of the message and respond here as I couldn’t to her face (for which, of course, I hate myself):

Regardless of what GOD intended marriage to be, the U.S. Constitution is designed to be amendable, and NOT be ruled by GOD. Separation of church and state.  It is the very same document that allows you to worship your GOD freely, but if you disagree with the supreme law of this land, can you still be proud to be American?

You are certainly free to do as you believe, but what about all your GAY friends whom you love so dearly?  Are they, as Americans, allowed to be free to do as they believe?

What other "scary" re-definition of marriage are you afraid of?  Who else could marry that would scare you? 

Scenario 1: (wo)man and beast

Scenario 2: (wo)man and blood relation

Scenario 3: (wo)man and child

Scenario 4: (wo)man and inanimate object

Scenario 5: (wo)man and (wo)man and (wo)man and (wo)man and …. (you get the idea)

As long as all the parties in the relationship can legally consent, what business is it of yours?  Why can’t they have the same rights as you?  Or are they lesser?

I hear your vicious little brain churning: “well, what about the abuse of scenario 5?  What if we ALL sign up to be one big happy Soddomite family?”  And I say, so fucking what?  I’m perfectly comfortable with my health insurance benefits (all of a sudden self and spouse(s) coverage plan doesn’t seem like such a bad deal J), retirement benefits and whatever measly scraps I leave after croaking – to go to the hundreds of my spouses.  It will not break the existing system – it might just change it some.  That’s the brilliance of this country’s law – it’s flexible.

Take the meaning of your Big Book as it’s intended: be kind and do not judge (“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.  Mind your own.”  Or something like that.) 

Oh, fuck it.

All this has been said, screamed, whispered, bled upon and shat upon. 

Pardon me while I, you know…

P.S.  And YES, I do support the Christians’ right to teach creationist theory in public schools BUT NOT to the exclusion of the evolution theory.  They’re both equally valid, as in “pretty baseless.”